Early start, cup of joe, and my bible

The past two days I've been waking up a lot earlier than usual, grabbing a cup of coffee, and sitting down and reading my bible.

The past two days I've had true joy.

I decided to journey through the gospels, starting with the first one, Matthew. Tuesday was awesome. Matthew 1 and 2 is what I live for. CHRISTMAS! but nothing really life changing came out of it. I just felt good. I love spending time with my God. I went to class feeling so awesome, but then life threw a few setbacks. I began to feel busy, angry, lazy, upset... the usual. I thought maybe this whole "transformation" things was a lost cause.

I decided to try the same thing again. I woke up wednesday, grabbed a cup of coffee, and ready matthew chapter 2-4, and I came across the story of Jesus in the wilderness. He hadn't eaten anything and was starving, so, of course, it was a perfect time for satan to move in.

Satan (or the tempter) said to Jesus "Hey man, you're the son of God, turn that rock into some bread" but then Jesus said something miraculous, that made my heart drop, that really changed my life. He quoted the end Deuteronomy 8:3 which says "man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes out of the mouth of the LORD"

That was it. The key verse to life change.

Let's get literal.

Bread is nothing but carbs, and what do carbs do? Fill you up fast, and satisfy your hunger, but of course, you're going to get hungry again, so just eat some more bread! But with all this bread you're not going to get all the vitamins and minerals you need. You'll get sick, you'll end up in the hospital, and you could die. You can't just live on bread.

This junk I've been filling my life with keeps me satisfied for a few moments, but eventually I'm hungry for more. I can't survive like this. It's deadly. I need my God.

Never a second passes with the Lord in which I don't feel satisfied.

Ready... Go!

Ever since I started college this fall I’ve been losing my focus little by little. I have been feeling like God has been getting further and further away from me as the days go on, and as a result of this I’ve been feeling lonely, week, afraid, dumb, unfocused, unmotivated, and essentially I’ve been feeling like I’ve been letting everyone down because I’m not the man I’m suppose to be. I’m not the man that stood up in front of my church and told them I committed my life to the ministry. I am not the man that gave his whole life over to God. I’m just a college kid, trying to get by on a 20 dollar a week allowance, drinking capri suns and eating gushers. As funny as it may sound, it’s also sad. I am a college kid who has nothing to his name except for 20 dollars, capri suns and gushers. Count the gushers out because those aren’t even mine, they’re my roommate’s.

The more I thought about this the sadder I got. I’ve lost everything on the inside that I once was. My morals and values seemed to be dwindling away, my social skills seemed to be dwindling away, and my relationship with God seemed to be dwindling away. Earlier I said that it seems like God has been getting further and further away from me as the days go on… That’s not true. I’ve been getting further and further away from God.

I had a refreshing encounter with God today, in my truck, on the way back to Kennesaw State University, listening to DavidCrowderBand*. This refreshing encounter brought tears of sorrow to my eyes because at first I felt so convicted for my actions but then it brought tears of joy to my eyes because I felt so accepted by his love and grace. Because of this I decided to start this blog. This blog is my journey to and through life change.

This is my journey, but I hope through my entries of what God has showed me life change will come to someone else.